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Want To Lose Weight, Make A Personal Change? There Is A Secret Equation That Guarantees Success
Want To Lose Weight, Make A Personal Change? There Is A Secret Equation That Guarantees Success by Alan B. Densky, CH
For a lot of people, the boulevard to individual transformation and self-improvement is a long and winding street filled with difficult barriers. Pharmaceutical companies in particular have capitalized on and created colossal fortunes because of the elusive search for the "Magic Pill" that will answer all of your prayers. As it turns out, there is a secret formula for success, and it begins in the unconscious mind.
One of the rules of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is that "there is a positive intention behind all behaviors." And based on that rule, when it comes to eliminating negative behaviors, there is a formula that we should always keep in mind. I'll let you in on the secret equation in a minute. But I have a riddle for you to solve first.
Riddle: A preacher made his son drink lye, which burned out his voice box. What was the positive intent behind his behavior?
If you are like 99.9% of the clients who have come into my office since 1978, you'll indignantly say something like: "There's no positive intention behind that behavior." But you would be completely in error. To answer this riddle, you must detach the behavior from the positive intention of the deed.
The minister's son was cursing. And the preacher believes that if a child curses, his soul will be condemned to Hell. So the answer is that the preacher was burning out his child's vocal cords so that he couldn't curse. By doing so, he was saving his child's soul from being fated to suffer in Hell.
The secret formula for success works as follows:
We should respect the positive intention that motivates each behavior. If we have a compulsion to use a behavior that we do not appreciate, we can easily get rid of the impulse to use that behavior. What we need to do is to find another behavior to substitute in its place. To be successful, the new action must be as accessible and efficient at accomplishing the same outcome, but be more consciously tolerable. We call this a REFRAME.
When clients come into my practice, the first thing I do is to take a comprehensive case history. In this instance, let's pretend that they come to my office and ask me to help them eliminate a weight problem. Conventional wisdom tells us that the two main reasons that people eat excessively are: (1) for relaxation and pleasure; (2) because eating can be a behavior triggered by other behaviors that it has been associated with (a conditioned response). For instance, if a person eats while they are talk on the phone, they will develop a conditioned response, and thereafter, every time they talk on the phone they will get a craving for food.
However, the above answer only takes into consideration the possible secondary gain from the eating behavior. What if they also have another behavior that is concerned in the equation? For instance: What if being tubby is also a behavior for this person? I can hear your mind churning right now as you think, "Being chubby isn't a behavior, what are you talking about?"
Sorry but you could be completely wrong. Here is a common textbook example that will clearly demonstrate the fact that being chubby can be a behavior. It can be a behavior because it can supply secondary gains.
Example: A woman is deeply in love. Her boyfriend breaks up with her, and her heart is broken. Her unconscious mind wants to protect her emotionally and keep her from having her heart broken again. So it motivates her to get chubby to keep her out of relationships. Because if she isn't in a relationship she cannot get her heart broken again.
The point is that everyone is totally different. And sometimes there are unconscious elements at work causing uncontrollable behaviors. These are elements that are different for each person.
Here is another example: A woman comes into my practice complaining of an uncontrollable compulsion to eat way too much at mealtime. During my case history, upon questioning, the woman explains how she has never been able to please her dad.
We did an age regression, and one of her earliest memories was of having a meal with her family. And dad was insisting in an angry voice that she clean her plate, even though she was bursting. So she ate the food left on her plate because of fear, and her dad commended her for eating everything. It was one of the only times in her life that she could recall her father telling her that he was happy with her.
Jump forward to present day. Dad's been deceased for years, but the unconscious program he installed is still functioning. She still has a powerful urge to eat all of the food on her plate, even if she is feeling stuffed, because by cleaning the plate, in her unconscious mind she is getting her dad's approval, and eliminating her fear!
So if you have a problem making personal changes, please remember that there is a positive intent that causes all behaviors. And the formula for success is to substitute another behavior that will bring about the same secondary gains, but in a way that is more consciously satisfactory to you, as an individual. The most efficient way to get your unconscious mind to take the responsibility for making this kind of alteration for you is through an NLP 6-Step Reframe.
Alan B. Densky, CH is an NLP Practitioner. He began his professional practice of hypnosis in 1978. He offers an interactive NLP Six-Step Reframing CD on his Neuro-VISION NLP site. Also available are his Free NLP article index, MP3 downloads, and hypnosis & NLP newsletters.
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